Orbits to Illuminate

Dear Sisters,

I hope you are all doing well!  I love and pray for each of you, and hope you are finding joy in your journey.  It was so neat to hear Sis. Sheri Dew speak last week at the tabernacle.

She quoted Elder Neil A. Maxwell, who said:

"Brothers and sisters, by divine appointment, “these are [our] days” (Hel. 7:9), since “all things must come to pass in their time” (D&C 64:32). Moreover, though we live in a failing world, we have not been sent here to fail.

Recall the new star that announced the birth at Bethlehem? It was in its precise orbit long before it so shone. 

​We are likewise placed in human orbits to illuminate. Divine correlation functions not only in the cosmos but on this planet, too."

Doesn't that just seem like such a perfect quote to ponder after that amazing eclipse?  

​

Sheri Dew talked about "expanding our orbit of influence to illuminate."  I have been pondering on that thought this last week.  I think there are many of you sisters who underestimate your influence and the light that you share.  You are a powerful source for good on this earth.  You make a difference.  You are here for a reason.  Allow yourself to be an instrument in the Lord's hand.

You probably don't even realize how many people you are touching.  This last week, my husband and I were talking about Jr. Shupe, who passed away.  I mentioned him to my husband as "Bro. Shupe" and my daughter piped in and said, "Oh, you mean Jr.?"  I was surprised to find that even she knew him because he had come and helped with girls camp.  Our lives are such a ripple, effecting so many.  Make a positive impact on those around you.

Expand your obit of influence this week.

Sincerely, 

Lydia

Reaching Out With Love and Kindness

Dear Sisters,

Happy Summer!  (I'm going to say that as long as I still can. ;)

Today in Sacrament Meeting, we got to hear from a sweet new family, the Coverstones.  They gave excellent talks.  As I listened to Melissa, I felt a strong impression that I needed to see if I could get a copy of her talk to send out to the sisters.  I know many of you heard it, but I felt the message was so good for us, so I've attached her talk here and I am including that as my message this week.

​Also, Courtney Green shared a quote that has really stuck with me this week right along the same lines:

“We draw people to Christ not by loudly discrediting what they believe, by telling them how wrong they are and how right we are, but by showing them a light that is so lovely that they want with all their hearts to know the source of it.”        ― Madeleine L'Engle

Reach out and fellowship those around you with love and kindness this week.

Sincerely,

Lydia

Melissa's Talk:

Fellowshipping/Friendshipping               August 13, 2017                Lorin Farr 4^th Ward

Introduction

Good morning, brothers and sisters. My name is Melissa Coverstone, and my family has been in the ward for roughly a month. Zach and I have 3 children: Jeffrey is 4, Clive is 3, and Cecily is 3 months old. Zach and I met at BYU where we both studied mathematics education. Zach will be teaching high school math at DaVinci Academy. I taught high school math for a year and a half, and now I am staying home with the kids.

Gander[i]

“Gander, [is] a town of about 10,000 people (and 550 hotel rooms) in Newfoundland, Canada.... On 11 September 2001, a total of 240 flights were rerouted to Canada when American airspace was closed after the terrorist attacks on New York and Washington, and 39 of those flights ended up in Gander.” That day, 6,579 stranded passengers increased Gander's population by two-thirds.

So what did this small town do in this crisis? They opened their arms and doors and cared from the stranded passengers.

“Responding to radio announcements, the residents and businesses of Gander and other towns supplied toothbrushes, deodorant, soap, blankets and even spare underwear, along with offers of hot showers and guest rooms. Newtel Communications, the telephone company, set up phone banks for passengers to call home. Local television cable companies wired schools and church halls, where passengers watched events unfolding in New York and realized how lucky they were.”

One of those stranded passengers later wrote, “During that time when all of us were frantic...our hosts were endlessly cheerful, giving and kind. They dropped everything to cook for us and make us feel less isolated and abandoned during those five days of uncertainty.”

Another passenger wrote, “Everyone was extraordinarily thoughtful of each other. One woman must have put her life on hold and was constantly checking on us. She even came to the airport when we finally left to make sure we all were fine. I never saw her without a smile. The lady who ran the cafeteria along with many neighbors made hot meals and brought in casseroles each day. Students helped us to use e-mail, and we were able to use the phone to call our family. No organization with financial backing was behind this – this was a call to neighbors and friends to come and help those of us in need.”

About the flight back from Gander to the United States, one flight attendant wrote, “When passengers came on board, it was like they had been on a cruise. Everyone knew each other by name....Our flight back to Atlanta looked like a chartered party flight.... It was mind-boggling. Passengers had totally bonded and were calling each other by their first names, exchanging phone numbers, addresses, and email addresses.”[ii]

The people of Gander made strangers feel welcome in a time of great need. As members of the church, we can do likewise. In the October 2013 General Conference, Bishop Gérald Caussé of the Presiding Bishopric stated, “A promise has been made to everyone who becomes a member of the Church: 'Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God.'”[iii]

Meeting/Ministering/Welcoming Each Other

An essential part of being “no more strangers” is that we meet, welcome, and minister to each other.  Getting to know each other is one of the major purposes of meeting each week and of church activities. Why have a ward swim party like we did recently, or a ward talent show, if not to see each other in a different setting than the 3-hour-block, to talk with each other, and have a good time together? How can we minister to each other if we don't trust each other, and how can we trust each other if we don't get to know each other?

Another reason for our church meetings is so that we can minister to each other. Moroni explains in Moroni 6: “An after they [new converts] had been received unto baptism, and were wrought upon and cleansed by the power of the Holy Ghost, they were numbered among the people of the church of Christ; and their names were taken, that they might be remembered and nourished by the good word of God...

“And the church did meet together oft, to fast and to pray, and to speak one with another concerning the welfare of their souls.”[iv] So one of the reasons we come to church each week is to talk to each other about how we're doing. That doesn't mean that this 3-hour block is supposed to be 3 hours of just socializing, but when we sit down and are waiting for Sunday School or Relief Society or Priesthood to start, we can ask those sitting around us how they're doing, and we can really listen to their answers. We can sit next to those we don't normally sit with. We can say hello to those we see in the hallway. Bishop Caussé said, “Whoever enters our meeting-houses should feel at home. The responsibility to welcome everyone has growing importance....

“Fellowshipping is an important priesthood responsibility. Aaronic and Melchizedek Priesthood quorums are to act in concert with the sisters under the direction of the bishop to ensure that each person is welcomed with love and kindness. Home teachers and visiting teachers will be watchful to ensure that no one is forgotten or ignored.”[v]

Home and visiting teaching serve as excellent opportunities to get to know each other and minister to each other. In last October's conference, Elder Holland spoke to the brethren in Priesthood session about home teaching. I believe it applies to visiting teaching as well. He said, “The appeal I am making tonight is for you to lift your vision of home teaching. Please, in newer, better ways see yourselves as emissaries of the Lord to His children. That means leaving behind the tradition of a frantic, law of Moses-like, end-of-the-month calendar in which you rush to give a scripted message from the Church magazines that the family has already read. We would hope, rather, that you will establish an era of genuine, gospel-oriented concern for the members, watching over and caring for each other, addressing spiritual and temporal needs in any way that helps....What matters is that you love your people and are fulfilling the commandment 'to watch over the church always.'”[vi]

Not Being Judgmental

In order to meet, welcome, and minister to each other, we need to not be judgmental of each other, both inside and outside the church. Bishop Causse explained, (quote)

A passage from the novel Les misérables illustrates how priesthood holders can treat those individuals viewed as strangers. Jean Valjean had just been released as a prisoner. Exhausted by a long voyage and dying of hunger and thirst, he arrives in a small town seeking a place to find food and shelter for the night. When the news of his arrival spreads, one by one all the inhabitants close their doors to him. Not the hotel, not the inn, not even the prison would invite him in. He is rejected, driven away, banished. Finally, with no strength left, he collapses at the front door of the town's bishop.

The good clergyman is entirely aware of Valjean's background, but he invites the vagabond into his home with these compassionate words:

“This is not by house; it is the house of Jesus Christ. This door does not demand of him who enters whether he has a name, but whether he has a grief. You suffer, you are hungry and thirsty; you are welcome. ...What need have I to know your name? Besides, before you told me [your name], you had one which I knew.”

“[Valjean] opened his eyes in astonishment.

“'Really? You knew what I was called?'

“'Yes,' replied the Bishop, 'you are called my brother.'”

In this Church our wards and our quorums do not belong to us. They belong to Jesus Christ. Whoever enters our meetinghouses should feel at home.[vii] (end quote)

We all have different struggles, seen and unseen, and should not criticize or think less of someone because they are different from us. The Savior is our perfect example. “Those who were excluded from society, those who were rejected and considered to be impure by the self-righteous, were given His compassion and respect. They received an equal part of his teachings and ministry.

“...The Savior went against the established the customs of His time to address the woman of Samaria, asking her for some water. He sat down to eat with publicans and tax collectors. He didn't hesitate to approach the leper, to touch him and heal him.”[viii] Our Savior treated them not as strangers but as fellow citizens with the saints.

My mother came from a part-member family. Most of the spiritual support and teaching that my mother received was from church members who took her under their wings. One time, my mother showed up to a youth Halloween activity wearing an immodest flapper costume that in her words “must have horrified” her young women leaders. However, instead of being judgmental, her leaders continued to love and teach her. How grateful I am for the Christ-like leaders who ministered to my mother and for the impact they had on her testimony in a critical time of her life.

Not only should we be non-judgmental of those within our church meetings, but we should be friendly and welcoming in our communities also. I recently read a letter from a non-member mother titled, “A Letter to Mormons.” In this letter, the mother explains that when the missionaries stop at their house, they ask if there is anything they can do for this non-member family. While the mother always pleasantly declines any help, she realized she does have a request. She writes, (quote)

“The next time a Mormon missionary asks if there’s anything they can do for me, I’m going to humbly and vulnerably reply as follows:

•       Please teach your children to be inclusive of my non-mormon children and please guide them to carry that inclusion past grade school, into middle school, and throughout high school.

•       Please encourage your children to sit with mine in the lunchroom.

•       Please permit your kids to invite my kids to their slumber parties, birthday parties, and weekend get togethers even AFTER my child has made it clear that he or she is not interested in attending fireside, seminary, or church with your family.

•       Please allow your teen to go with mine to school dances, athletic events, and group dinners trusting that just like you, my husband and I have done the best we know how to raise a teenager who knows right from wrong.

•       Please welcome my children into your homes and permit your children to visit ours....

“As these hopes for my children spill out, I realize that these are the same yearnings I had when I was too young to express them and they remain yearnings for me now. I would like to know my Mormon neighbors. I would like for us to share our celebrations and mourn our losses together. I would like to enter into deep relationships with you that allow us to celebrate our differences and lift each other up versus silently judging one another from across the street or the backyard fence. I would like us to hug and share dinners, and text jokes, and go to movies, and have pool parties, and discuss politics, and cry and laugh, and live life together....

“For decades now I have felt an invisible yet palpable partition between my family and our mormon neighbors…a silent criterion that has said, “we can’t be that close…we can’t walk this life together too often, we can’t be intimate friends unless we share the same faith.” I want to tear down this barricade and abolish this silent destroyer of fellowship. I fear we are forfeiting valuable friendships and life-changing communion with one another as we allow religion to segregate our lives.”[ix] (close quote)

What I believe this mother is describing is her desire to be no more a stranger or foreigner in her own neighborhood, but a fellow citizen.

I have been privileged to know many good, Christ-like people who are not members of the church. I grew up in San Jose, CA and was blessed to be surrounded by adults in my ward who did a great job of reaching out in friendship to families in our neighborhood, both member and non-member alike. Let us make sure that our neighbors don't feel like strangers or foreigners because they live near lots of Mormon families. Remember the great commandment to love our neighbors as ourselves. The Savior said, “For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? Do not even the publicans the same?

“And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? Do not even the publicans so?

“Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.”[x]

Part of being welcoming in our communities is seeing each other as the Lord sees us, seeing each other as we may become instead of as we are now. For those within our meetings and not, “we should develop the capacity to see men not as they are but as they can become when they are members of the Church, when they have a testimony of the gospel, and when their lives are in harmony with its teachings.”[xi]

 “In the words of President Monson, “I pray that we will have the courage to extend the hand of fellowship, the tenacity to try and try again, and the humility needed to seek guidance from our Father as we fulfill our mandate to share the gospel.”[xii]

Brothers and Sisters, I feel like this talk has been preaching to the choir. My family has felt welcomed in this ward, and we are grateful for your friendship and are looking forward to meeting more of you. I pray that we can, without being judgmental, meet, minister to, and welcome those who cross our paths, both in our ward and in our community, and that we can be no more strangers or foreigners, but fellow citizens. May we see each other and those around us as they may become, in the name of our perfect example, even Jesus Christ. Amen.

---

[i]“Take a Gander” http://www.snopes.com/rumors/gander.asp

[ii]https://af-za.facebook.com/notes/janet-liebsch/a-911-story-about-delta-flight-15-and-gander-newfoundland/4052146054871/

[iii]Bishop Gérald Caussé, “Ye Are No More Strangers” October 2013 General Conference

[iv]Moroni 6: 4-5

[v]Bishop Gérald Caussé, “Ye Are No More Strangers” October 2013 General Conference

[vi]Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, “Emissaries to the Church” October 2016 General Conference

[vii]Bishop Gérald Caussé, “Ye Are No More Strangers” October 2013 General Conference

[viii]Bishop Gérald Caussé, “Ye Are No More Strangers” October 2013 General Conference

[ix]“A Letter to Mormons” https://laughslikethunder.blog/2017/08/09/a-letter-to-mormons/

[x]Matthew 5: 46-48

[xi]President Monson “See Others As They May Become”

[xii]President Monson “See Others As They May Become”

Fellowship One with Another

Dear Sisters,

Sometimes I'm amazed at the opposition we experience in the world.  In one moment, I can feel so happy as I walk out my front door and see and smell beautiful spring blossoms.  Then in the next moment, I can turn on the news and feel despair for all the sadness and corruption in the world.

This week, during our family scripture reading, I came across a couple scriptures that gave me comfort:

Helaman 6:2-3

2 For behold, there were many of the Nephites who had become hardened and impenitent and grossly wicked, insomuch that they did reject the word of God and all the preaching and prophesying which did come among them.

3 Nevertheless, the people of the church did have great joy because of the conversion of the Lamanites, yea, because of the church of God, which had been established among them. And they did fellowship one with another, and did rejoice one with another, and did have great joy.

I noticed in these verses, that many of the people had become very wicked, however, those who were in the church "fellowshipped" and strengthened each other and even amid the wickedness of the world, they were able to experience joy and rejoice.

The scriptures reminded me that we can also experience joy as we keep the commandments, and I loved the reminder to fellowship.  I think that is much of why we visit teach.  We share our friendship with sisters because we want to strengthen each other, lift one another's burdens, and spread joy.

I know there are terrible things going on in the world today, but don't be overcome with fear and despair.  Remember that we can be a joyful people because we have the fullness of the gospel.

Sincerely,

Lydia

Sent Forth Among ALL the People

Dear Sisters,

I just love each of you.  I hope you know it.  I wish I had more time and ways to show you and to visit with each one of you individually. 

I was reading in Helaman 10 about how Nephi “declared the word” to ALL the people.  It says in verse 17, “And it came to pass that he did go forth in the Spirit, from multitude to multitude, declaring the word of God, even until he had declared it unto all.”  I felt a little overwhelmed and discouraged thinking, ‘How in the world did he do that?!  How did he teach every single one of them?!’  And then I was comforted when I continued reading, “…or sent it forth among all the people.”  He had church leaders and members help him spread his message of repentance.

Sisters, this reminded me of Visiting Teaching.  I couldn't reach "all" the sisters without your help.  It is an inspired tool that can be used to “send forth” the Lord’s message.  I testify that those monthly messages found in the Ensign are prayed about and messages that our church leaders want us to share with all the sisters of the church.  I hope I can count on you to “send forth” my love and concern for each individual sister, as well.  

​

We are doing some Visiting Teaching up-dates, so be patient, but for now, please pass that along to the sisters on your list.  What a comfort and blessing Visiting Teaching is to me!  I’m so grateful for your efforts here!  They don’t go unnoticed!

“By becoming the answer to someone’s prayer, we often find the answer our own.”

-Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Again, I hope you know and feel the love I have for you and that Heaven Father has for you.  I am praying for you.  I hope you have a wonderful week!

Sincerely,

Lydia

Ministering with Charity

Dear Sisters,

Visiting teaching has been a great blessing in my life.  Confession:  I have selfishly assigned some phenomenal visiting teachers to myself—I know that is probably quite naughty of me, but I have just needed their support.  Neither of these women would want me to sing their praises, but I’m going to do it anyway. (Because I can. ;)

Kathy Hughes visit taught me before I was called as a president, and I felt Sis. Peterson was so inspired to give me an opportunity to get to know her.  Her kind, thoughtful acts and consistency in coming only added to the already strong spiritual confirmation that I needed her as a councilor.  One of the things I have loved about her the most as a visiting teacher is how thoughtful she has been to my children.  She has brought them little treats or prizes for different seasons—one included some fun candy flavored chapstick, which I am embarrassed to admit that Brigham promptly ate with no regrets. J (Sorry Kathy.)  Her kindness and example of perseverance and faith through opposition has meant more than she will ever know.  She is such a special, talented woman. 

​

And then sweet Joyce Low has just taken me under her wing, even before she was assigned to me.  Despite health issues and difficulties going on in her life, she found time to share thoughtful little cards, pictures, poems, or books for my children every month, just as a sweet friend and neighbor.  She recently brought me a framed picture of a painting I had posed in as a child, but didn’t have a print of.  I thought it was out of print, but she hunted the painting down straight to the printer.  Can you believe how thoughtful?  What an example of charity and kindness.

​

I suspect both of these sisters wouldn’t claim that they have done much.  They are so humble that they probably don’t even think they are that great of visiting teachers, but they have truly touched my life and been such a blessing to me when I needed their support.  I appreciate their faithful examples of visiting teaching. 

I could fill volumes with countless other examples of sweet sisters in our ward who go above and beyond in their efforts to show charity and compassion.  I just feel a great need to express my love and gratitude for each of you… for your willingness to lift, serve, and love.  I APPRECIATE YOU SO MUCH!!!  I could not do this without you.  Sometimes I get discouraged and troubled about sisters that I know are struggling or going through a difficult trial.  My heart just aches for them, but I take great comfort knowing that they have visiting teachers—a friend to watch over them.  Thank you for your influence and discipleship.

If this is something you have struggled with in the past, please know that I will be praying for you to have positive visiting teaching experiences, so that your testimony will grow.  I hope this will be your prayer too, as you diligently fulfill this calling.  Ministering as a visiting teacher can be simple.  Here are some examples of how we can minister through visiting teaching:

How do we minister?

·         Pray daily for [the sister you visit] and her family.

·         Seek inspiration to know her and her family.

·         Visit her regularly to learn how she is doing and to comfort and strengthen her.

·         Stay in frequent contact through visits, phone calls, letters, e-mail, text messages, and simple acts of kindness.

·         Greet her at Church meetings.

·         Help her when she has an emergency, illness, or other urgent need.

·         Teach her the gospel from the scriptures and the visiting teaching messages.

·         Inspire her by setting a good example.
(See “How Visiting Teachers Love, Watch Over, and Strengthen a Sister,” in Daughters in My Kingdom, page 123.)

We will know we are successful in our ministry as visiting teachers when the sisters we visit can say:

·         My visiting teacher helps me grow spiritually.

·         I know that my visiting teacher cares deeply about me and my family.

·         If I have problems, I know my visiting teacher will take action without waiting to be invited.

I especially liked that last list, because rather than focusing on what our visiting teacher is or is not doing, we can always reflect on our own efforts.

We can always find ways to be thoughtful and improve as visiting teachers.  I testify that, just as Joyce and Kathy’s humble example of charity has influenced my life for good, we too, can share our Savior’s love through visiting teaching.

I love each of you so VERY MUCH!  Hope you have a wonderful week!

Sincerely,

Lydia

Thankful in Our Circumstances

Dear Sisters,

Perhaps it is the time of year, but my thoughts are bursting with gratitude today.  I sat in sacrament meeting and just felt happy.  Bro. and Sis. Larsen gave such up-beat talks about their mission experiences, and the Hanamaikai’s musical number was beautiful, and Sis. Garner had my boys completely captivated as she colored a rainbow dinosaur for them, and I just felt thankful to have such a wonderful place to go to worship and learn, with people I love.  This gospel makes me so happy.  

​My heart is so full of gratitude for each of you.  You touch my life daily!  I am so grateful for your visiting teaching efforts and all you do to strengthen and serve the sisters in our ward!  You are special, remarkable women, and I love you!

“As disciples of Christ, we are commanded to “thank the Lord [our] God in all things,”¹ to “sing unto the Lord with thanksgiving,”² and to “let [our] heart be full of thanks unto God.”³

Why does God command us to be grateful?

All of His commandments are given to make blessings available to us. Commandments are opportunities to exercise our agency and to receive blessings. Our loving Heavenly Father knows that choosing to develop a spirit of gratitude will bring us true joy and great happiness.

Could I suggest that we see gratitude as a disposition, a way of life that stands independent of our current situation? In other words, I’m suggesting that instead of being thankful for things, we focus on being thankful in our circumstances—whatever they may be.” 

(Elder Uchtdorf)

 

(Recognize the blessings that are raining down on your and enjoy them with thanks.)

Let’s all try to develop an attitude of gratitude this week, even during any difficult circumstances.  I feel sure we will be blessed for it and find greater joy.

Sincerely,

Lydia

Love in Action...

Dear Sisters,

Isn’t it wonderful to be part of this amazing “Worldwide Circle of Sisterhood"?!  I have just been pondering on Kathy Hughes’ powerful lesson yesterday, and have felt so richly blessed to be a part of this Relief Society organization.  Our motto “Charity Never Faileth” is such an inspiring theme to live by.  

It makes me think of you...

I loved President Monson’s quote on charity toward the end of the lesson:

“I have in mind the charity that manifests itself when we are tolerant of others and lenient toward their actions, the kind of charity that forgives, the kind of charity that is patient.

“I have in mind the charity that impels us to be sympathetic, compassionate, and merciful, not only in times of sickness and affliction and distress but also in times of weakness or error on the part of others.

“There is a serious need for the charity that gives attention to those who are unnoticed, hope to those who are discouraged, aid to those who are afflicted. True charity is love in action. The need for charity is everywhere.”

Isn’t that a beautiful reminder?  I think most of us are considerably compassionate when physical needs arise, but there is a tremendous need for tolerance, patience, and forgiveness when someone messes up.  It is so good for us to look beyond ourselves and “expand our sphere of influence”.  As we do, I feel confident that our divine nature, who we truly are, will become clearer to us.

“Looking out through a window, not just into a mirror, allows us to see ourselves as His.” (Rosemary M. Wixom)

Reach out to the people around you.  Take a moment to exercise charity—“love in action”, and make contact with those you visit teach this week.  I really believe that you woman can “change the world.”  You have certainly made mine better!  I love you dearly for it!  Hope you have a lovely week.

Sincerely,

Lydia

A Sign of God's Love...

Dear Sisters,

I’ve had a rough time getting an email off this week, but I haven’t forgotten you. :)

As we interviewed most of you concerning visiting teaching last month, I asked many of you: “Why you do your visiting teaching?”  As I listened to your reply, I was reminded several time of how Adam responded when the angel asked him why he offered sacrifices.  He responded:

“I know not, save the Lord commanded me.”

And then the Angel proceeded to explain that,

“This thing is a similitude of the sacrifice of the Only Begotten of the Father, which is full of grace and truth.”

 (Pearl of Great Price, Moses 5:6-7)

Sometimes we do things in an effort to be obedient without understanding why, and what a wonderful place to begin!  However, I hope that you search your hearts for a deeper understanding, so that your testimony of Visiting Teaching can begin to grow. 

I am going to break a little bit from a traditional message and share some personal thoughts from my own precious sisters.  They are amazing ladies, and I actually asked them that same "Why" question in a group text.  I thought their experiences were inspiring, and hope that in sharing them, perhaps you will identify or feel encouraged.  (I apologize for the length. If you can’t read it all, at least read the underlined bits.)

My Precious Sister-in-Law:

I have to admit visiting teaching has never been easy for me and I don't necessarily love it. I often get assigned to people I wouldn't naturally enter into a close friendship with, who are struggling, or who are impossible to schedule with. So I can see why some sisters can get discouraged or struggle with it because sometimes it is hard. However, I do have a testimony of it and that's what keeps me going.

I see the visiting teaching program as a sign that God loves us so much that he doesn't want us to feel alone, friendless, or desperate especially in darkest hours.  Visiting teachers are entitled to receive revelation on how to best help the ladies they are over and in that sense it's a way that the Lord can minister to his children's needs. It's really a beautiful thing.

Currently, in my new ward, I have felt lonely. I have been here four months with no sign of visiting teachers or even a visiting teaching assignment, even though I have asked. I contrast this somewhat friendless time in my life, with my time in Ohio when my visiting teachers made such an effort to be true friends to me, and I can't help but think what a difference that would make in my life right now. I am fairly independent and can manage fine and keep busy and my testimony is strong, but what if I were someone in this new ward with no friends, dealing with something tragic or with illness or a wavering testimony? The Lord doesn't want anyone to slip through the cracks.

I also think of the sweet experiences I had in Ohio with the three ladies I visit taught. One was a sweet sister who's husband was a very busy plastic surgeon resident with three little kids. She really needed the support of her friends and visiting teachers. And everything I tried to go out of my way to do for her seemed to mean so much to her.

Another sister was a convert from Cameroon, with a heavy accent.  She hadn't been to church in ten years because of her job. We were her only contact with the ward, really. When she was able to switch jobs and start coming to church again, she at least knew my partner and I, and when she and her husband were able to receive their endowments and be sealed in the temple, my companion and I were able to go through right by her side.

The third sister was a single lady who was forty and had a bipolar disorder. When I became her visiting teacher, she was a mess. She was just about to get knee surgery and was struggling financially and trying to finish nursing school while working full time. She needed food, rides everywhere, her garbage taken out, her guinea pigs cages cleaned, her ice machine for her knee changed, and most of all, moral support. I organized everything and stopped by her house at least once a day and gave her many rides. I often had a bad attitude about it, but it made such a difference in her life. Over the two years I was her visiting teacher, she struggled with many things and was often almost suicidal. She was often crying on our couch, getting blessings from from my husband, or sleeping in our basement. I expected our relationship to be one sided and a bit of an emotional drain for me.  There were times at first when it was, but I was surprised when it developed into a true and deep friendship that was far from one sided. She became very close with my little daughter, and she would often invite me to movies or to grab a piece of cake at a bakery or to the zoo. And when I was alone in Ohio while my husband was driving the moving truck across the country, who do you think was there helping me clean, bringing me treats, and keeping me company?

I learned so much from these three ladies about the Lord’s love for his children through them. We often think of visiting teaching as one sided, but many time it was the people I taught who were there for me in times of need. I was far from perfect at doing an official message each month, but I tried to focus on their needs, even though they were all so different, and as I did, I could really feel the Lord’s love for them and for me through visiting teaching.

It is so nice to simply not feel invisible. The small things we can do to help the people we teach not feel invisible or alone can make a huge difference, even if they don't physically or emotionally seem to need help. It made me feel so good when one of my visiting teachers decorated my door the night before my birthday!

Striving to have the spirit is the key. One lady I taught years ago never seemed to need anything and always seemed happy. We didn't have the deepest connection, but we were still friends. One time when I had to do the visiting alone, I felt prompted to say "I know you never need anything from me, but is there anything you just need to talk to someone about or to vent about?" And she broke down crying and told me all about her infertility struggles. I'm not sure that I had much to say in return, but later she told me how much had needed to just say it all out loud to someone. The spirit can help us, but I think we become more entitled to that revelation if we are consistently trying to befriend them and visit our sisters.

My Amazing Baby Sister: 

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I have struggled with visiting teaching and I still do sometimes, just because I'm not the best conversationalist,  I don't anyways feel like the women "need" me (they're already so put together) and truthfully I'm exhausted with my calling and being a mom to smalls. It's sometimes tough for me to ask "can I take your little rambunctious two year old for you so you can have a break?" when I already have one of my own plus three more. And sometimes it's hard to give a real spiritually uplifting thought when I'm trying to calm my son who is screaming and crawling up my body because he's terrified of the giant dog sitting in the couch, :) Or I know my baby needs a nap and we've been visiting for two hours, and I go home thinking I was just a warm body in the room.

I'm sounding like a downer and I don't mean to be, but I'm just saying "I get it." Sometimes we might feel like it's a waste of time. BUT then I remember the times where having visiting teachers come to visit me and get to know me has meant the world to me. When I first moved to here, I was so intensely lonely. Technically I was fine, I was busy with a new baby and I didn't HAVE to have someone to talk to, but boy, it would have been nice. 

Last year, I got a visiting teacher who tried so hard to be thoughtful. She would drive by the house and notice me unloading groceries and she would stop to help me. She was one of the only ward members at the time who I felt brave enough to tell about my blog.  And she looked at it regularly and encouraged me. She even looked to see my list of "favorites treats" and she brought them to me on my birthday. They were just little things but I felt like I actually had a friend who cared about me.

I have to think of those things and pray for small things within my limited capacity that I can do for the women I visit teach, even if it's just saying something kind. I remind myself that it means a lot to me to have someone come to my house and care about me; maybe it would mean something to them.

Whether the situations end in a positive experience or not, all women have a chance to become more Christ-like, with an opportunity to stretch and grow. I guess that's what I've always fallen back on. Whether I make a friend or not, I know that it's giving me the opportunity to do what Christ would do.

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My other sister-in-law suggested that “a big part of visiting teaching is just knowing who you teach and knowing who teaches you. It would be great if we could get rid of the guilt that comes with not being a perfect visiting teacher or getting the "right numbers".”

My hope is that we can all begin to see visiting teaching as a sign of God’s love for his daughters, and an opportunity to become more like our Savior.

I love you sisters!  Hope you have a Happy Halloween! Don’t eat too much candy. ;)

Sincerely, 

Lydia