Establishing a Christ-Centered Home

Dear Sisters,

Happy July!  Hope you had a wonderful 4^th of July!  We are so lucky to live in this good land!

This last week, I came across a little sketch that Seth drew, and it is really made me smile.  I feel like he truly captured what motherhood occasionally feels like in this picture:

I love the symbolism here, like that this sweet mother, with her arms full to overflowing, is still trying to smile, and maybe just hoping that her husband might lend a hand.  His large, firm hand may be just what is needed. 

Mostly, it just seemed timely, because this last week, I have talked to a couple different mothers who have expressed that they feel tired, overwhelmed, and frustrated as a mother.  Those feelings are normal some of the time.  Motherhood can feel exhausting and lonely at times, but I think Satan would like us to feel that way much of the time.  Already, I can see it passes so quickly.  Hang in there!  Do your best to enjoy the little moments.  Relax a little—let that schedule slide a little and don’t forget to be your amazing self.  Both you and your kids need that.  As you find joy, you allow the companionship of the Holy Ghost to help you in your role.

Also, work with your good husband as much as you can.  Remember the basics.  We are promised great blessings as we do.  Elder Maynes, of the Seventy, talked about how he and his wife really tried to established habits of family home evening, scripture study, and family prayer when they were counselled to do so by the prophet.  Here is what he said.

“We learned that our children might not remember everything about the family home evening lesson later in the week, but they would remember that we held it. We learned that later in the day at school they would probably not remember the exact words of the scriptures or the prayer, but they would remember that we did read scriptures and we did have prayer. Brothers and sisters, there is great power and protection for us and our youth in establishing celestial traditions in the home.

Learning, teaching, and practicing the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ in our homes helps create a culture where the Spirit can dwell. Through establishing these celestial traditions in our homes, we will be able to overcome the false traditions of the world and learn to put the needs and concerns of others first.

The responsibility for establishing a Christ-centered home lies with both parents and children. Parents are responsible to teach their children in love and righteousness. Parents will be held accountable before the Lord in how they perform their sacred responsibilities. Parents teach their children with words and through example.”

​I think it is great council to work in a loving way with our spouse to create a Christ-centered home.  Don’t forget to reach out to friends and families, too, when you need help.  This last week, I helped tend a friend’s kids while she rested with her new baby.  She was so grateful, and it wasn’t hard for me. You are not alone!  Also, try to remember what a blessing your precious children are.  There are several sisters in our ward who are unable to have children.  I think they would urge you to enjoy them and see them for the blessing that they are.

I just felt inspired to encourage your young mothers this week.  You are doing a great work.  Enjoy it!  Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured.

Sincerely,

Lydia

An Influence for Good

Dear Sisters,

I sat in sacrament meeting today, and couldn't help but notice a cute little girl in front of me watching her mother closely.  As her mother crossed her legs, so did she.  As her mother ran her fingers through her hair, so did she.  As her mother took the sacrament, so did she.  It made me smile.  Then I noticed a little later a young boy watching his Grandma.  His eyes were full of love and admiration, and he gently rested his head on her shoulder.  These two images touched me.  This quote from Elder Uchtdorf came to mind:

"I hope that my dear sisters throughout the world—grandmothers, mothers, aunts, and friends—never underestimate the power of their influence for good, especially in the lives of our precious children and youth!"

President Heber J. Grant (1856–1945) said, “Without the devotion and absolute testimony of the living God in the hearts of our mothers, this Church would die.”  And the writer of Proverbs said, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

President Gordon B. Hinckley counseled the women of the Church:

“It is so tremendously important that the women of the Church stand strong and immovable for that which is correct and proper under the plan of the Lord. …

“We call upon the women of the Church to stand together for righteousness. They must begin in their own homes. They can teach it in their classes. They can voice it in their communities.” ²

Never under estimate the power of your influence!  Your children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and friends are watching you.  Be an influence for good.  Be an example of the believers.  Be a source of light and truth for them.  Don't be afraid to share your testimony with them.  They are watching you, and need your example of faith.

Find someone you can influence for good this week!

Sincerely,

Lydia

"Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings"

Dear Sisters,

I just had a quick thought for you today. It is almost more for your husband or the priesthood men of our ward, but maybe you can pass it a long. :)

I just want to share my testimony of the importance of family councils. One form a council can take is a personal interview. My sweet hubby recently started interviewing our children once a week. He pulls the kids into his office one at a time and talks with them. Sometimes afterwords, he has approached me with things like, "Brigham is worried he doesn't have enough clothes." Or "Amberlee is having a hard time in her math class." At first, I was almost irritated that they confided in him so much. I talk to my kids regularly and I like to think I am pretty involved in their lives, but I was amazed to see how much they open up to him. The brethren have a special ability to connect with and be powerful examples to their children. I feel grateful for Doug's example and willingness to be a great father. I think it is making a difference in our home.

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You may find yourself in a different circumstances, but this council from Elder Ballard can still apply to your family:

"A family council, when conducted with love and with Christlike attributes, will counter the impact of modern technology that often distracts us from spending quality time with each other and also tends to bring evil right into our homes.

Children desperately need parents willing to listen to them, and the family council can provide a time during which family members can learn to understand and love one another.

Alma taught, “Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good.” Inviting the Lord to be part of our family council through prayer will improve our relationships with each other. We can, with Heavenly Father and our Savior’s help, become more patient, thoughtful, helpful, forgiving, and understanding as we pray for help. With Their help, we can make our homes a little bit of heaven here on earth."

I encourage you to council in your families or council with the Lord, whatever your circumstances. No matter your age or stage, especially take time to connect with your children. Have a little personal interview with them and increase the communication within your home. I testify you will find opportunities to teach and grow as you do.

I hope you have a fabulous week!

Sincerely,
Lydia 

"Friendship that will be Delightful and Enduring"

Dear Sisters,

Last night, my five year old came up to me with a notebook full of drawings done by his older brother.  He turned to me, pointing to a picture, and said, “Can you believe that kid?!  Isn’t he just so cute?”  I couldn’t smile big enough. J  Obviously he had heard me say something similar to my husband.  It cracked me up that he was so serious and acting like an adult.  It reminded me how very quickly this time when they are little flies by.  I just want to love every minute, and sometimes I forget to do that.

I’m working on enjoying the small moments with my children, but I especially need to work on remembering the sweet guy that supports me behind the scenes, in everything I do.  One of the best things I can do for my kids is to show them that I love and think the world of their Dad.

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My message today can apply to any sister or circumstance, but is particularly for young mothers.  I love this quote by Sis. Marjorie Pay Hinckley,

“I know it is hard for you young mothers to believe that almost before you can turn around the children will be gone and you will be alone with your husband.  You had better be sure you are developing the kind of love and friendship that will be delightful and enduring.  Let the children learn from your attitude that he is important.  Encourage him.  Be kind.  It is a rough world, and he, like everyone else, is fighting to survive.  Be cheerful.  Don’t be a whiner.”

Isn’t that a beautiful perspective?  I especially love that ending there—“Be cheerful.  Don’t be a whiner.”  Sometimes we complain—you know what I’m talking about: “It’s not fair, I was up all night with the baby and you slept through the whole thing,” or “I am sick and tired of cleaning up everyone else’s messes!”   Just think back on your interactions.  Are you cheerful and encouraging?  Or is there a little too much whining going on?  That is something I know I’m going to work on.

“Marriage is still very much a living institution, worth all the time and patience invested in it.  Marriage is the stable structure that encircles and supports two clumsy individuals, learning to love and live with each other.”

-Ronna Romney and Beppie Harrison, “Giving Time a Chance”

I love this candid "in-between" snap shot of my family during our recent reunion photo-shoot, because it captures a sweet moment between my mom and dad, who are good examples to me of having an eternal perspective and nurturing that love even with all the chaos that comes with raising six kids.

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I hope this week you find some time to nurture your marriage or a family relationship.  “Develop that kind of love and friendship that will be delightful and enduring.”  I promise you rarely, if ever, regret being kind.

Have a wonderful week!

Sincerely,

Lydia

"Forgive One Another"

Dear Sisters,

I was just thinking today about what a blessing forgiveness is.  Letting go of a grudge is truly empowering.  I am going to get just a bit personal here, so bare with me…

During my early teen years, I had a bit of a firey temper, not unlike “Anne of Green Gable’s.”  There was one school boy in particular that could really set me off, and I him.  Our personalities and opinions strongly clashed.  He sort of became my nemesis.  We could barely stand to be in the same room.  One day, when the teacher left the classroom for a moment, this boy was walking down the aisle and tripped over my foot.  Thinking I had intentionally tripped him, he picked himself up, turned around, and decked me.  Somewhat shocked, but highly defensive, I decked him back… and quite possibly this pattern would have continued had friends not intervened.  (I’m kind of embarrassed about this… but moving on.)

Feelings of passionate anger and even hatred began to stir inside me.  When I finally opened up to my mom about what had happened, I’m sure she felt some disappointment in me, and probably some of her own anger at this boy for punching her daughter, but I will be forever grateful for the lesson she taught me, as she set her own feelings aside.

She listened, and busied herself making cookies.  When the cookies were done, she informed me that we were taking them to this boy’s house.  I was completely mortified!  It probably took some serious coaxing, but I relented.  I can remember ringing the doorbell while awkwardly balancing the plate of cookies.  The boy answered the door, and I simply said, “I think we should bury the hatchet.” (Probably my mom’s words.)  He agreed.  We both made quick apologies and parted ways.  I wish I could have heard his explanation to his mother as to why a girl was bringing him cookies. J 

The main thing I remember about all of this, was how I felt afterwards.  I remember skipping—almost floating back to the car, because that sick, fiery feeling was gone.  I’m so grateful that my mother recognized my need to forgive and heal, and that she was willing to take the time to teach me the contrast between those two feelings.

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I didn’t know then how much I would later need this lesson of forgiveness. Just a couple short years later, I experienced some minor sexual abuse.  Again, I am grateful for my sweet mother, who listened and didn’t “sweep it under the rug” when I confided in her.  When the person approached me in humble apology, I was able to frankly forgive them, and apply that early lesson of “letting go of bad feelings”.  I know the power of the atonement healed my hurt and removed my guilt, and blessed me with the ability to forgive.  It was empowering to let go of that heavy burden, and also allow that person to progress as well.

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I testify that there isn’t a trial the Savior hasn’t suffered.  He has descended below all things.  If you have been mistreated or are carrying a grudge, I urge you to set it at the Saviors feet.  Approach the person in forgiveness and allow Christ’s atonement to heal all that is unfair in your life.  Life really is too short to hold grudges.

Sincerely,

Lydia 

Women of Faith

Hello Amazing Sisters of the Lorin Farr 4^th Ward!

Oh how I love you!  I hope you know it!  I feel so lucky to work with you good women.  I am inspired by your faith and strength through opposition.  I love that you maintain a firm focus on our Savior!  You really are “women of faith.”

“We are women of faith, virtue, vision, and charity who rejoice in motherhood and in womanhood and in the family. We are not panicked about perfection, but we are working to become more pure. And we know that in the strength of the Lord we can do all righteous things because we have immersed ourselves in His gospel.”

-Sheri L. Dew

I promise I will not flood your email inbox, but I do plan on sending a weekly email with any up-dates and announcements to keep you informed about up-coming events.  I also hope you will contact me with any Relief Society related questions or concerns.  Thank you for all the good you do!  You are a great strength to our wonderful organization, and you are loved!

-Lydia