An Influence for Good

Dear Sisters,

I sat in sacrament meeting today, and couldn't help but notice a cute little girl in front of me watching her mother closely.  As her mother crossed her legs, so did she.  As her mother ran her fingers through her hair, so did she.  As her mother took the sacrament, so did she.  It made me smile.  Then I noticed a little later a young boy watching his Grandma.  His eyes were full of love and admiration, and he gently rested his head on her shoulder.  These two images touched me.  This quote from Elder Uchtdorf came to mind:

"I hope that my dear sisters throughout the world—grandmothers, mothers, aunts, and friends—never underestimate the power of their influence for good, especially in the lives of our precious children and youth!"

President Heber J. Grant (1856–1945) said, “Without the devotion and absolute testimony of the living God in the hearts of our mothers, this Church would die.”  And the writer of Proverbs said, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

President Gordon B. Hinckley counseled the women of the Church:

“It is so tremendously important that the women of the Church stand strong and immovable for that which is correct and proper under the plan of the Lord. …

“We call upon the women of the Church to stand together for righteousness. They must begin in their own homes. They can teach it in their classes. They can voice it in their communities.” ²

Never under estimate the power of your influence!  Your children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and friends are watching you.  Be an influence for good.  Be an example of the believers.  Be a source of light and truth for them.  Don't be afraid to share your testimony with them.  They are watching you, and need your example of faith.

Find someone you can influence for good this week!

Sincerely,

Lydia

A Tremendous Force for Good

Dear Sisters,

Happy Spring!  What a lovely week full of sunshine and springtime smells!  I hope you found a minute to get outside and soak it in!

I read a quote by President Hinckley that keeps running through my head from Marlene’s lesson today.  I felt some of you sisters need to hear it, in case you missed it.

“No one can calculate the tremendous force for good that you can become. … I charge you to stand tall and be strong in defense of those great virtues which have been the backbone of our social progress. When you are united, your power is limitless. You can accomplish anything you wish to accomplish. And oh, how very, very great is the need for you in a world of crumbling values where the adversary seems so very much to be in control.

I feel to invite women everywhere to rise to the great potential within you. I do not ask that you reach beyond your capacity. I hope you will not nag yourselves with thoughts of failure. I hope you will not try to set goals far beyond your capacity to achieve. I hope you will simply do what you can do in the best way you know. If you do so, you will witness miracles come to pass.

You really are remarkable.  Remember that yours is “the errand of angels.”

“If you live up to your privileges, the angels cannot be restrained from being your associates.” (Joseph Smith)

The Lord loves you, you are of great worth to him. You make a difference!

I hope you have a wonderful week and remember your divine worth.

-Lydia

Conversations that Strengthen

Dear Sisters,

Who is ready to start another school year?!  I’m feeling pretty excited myself, but you would never guess that by how it has been affecting me physically.  I have been dealing with some painful cold sores and cankers all over the roof of my mouth, and even on my tongue.  Clearly I need to de-stress. ;)  They have made eating and even talking very painful.  I mention this, because these sores caused me to ponder a thought that I wanted to share with you this week.

As I have sought relief from these painful sores, I was able to attend the temple this week to do initiatory.  I won’t go into detail about my experience, because of its sacred nature, but afterwards, I was inspired to look up these scriptures:

Peter 3:10-11

 10 For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:

 11 Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.

Psalms 34:13-15

 13 Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile.

 14 Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it.

 15 The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, and his ears are open unto their cry.

As I read these words, so conscious of the pain in my mouth, I imagined the occasional unkind words that sometimes come out of my mouth without thought.  What if those words hurt us as much as they hurt those who they are directed at?

“When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following:

Stop it!

It’s that simple. We simply have to stop judging others and replace judgmental thoughts and feelings with a heart full of love for God and His children. God is our Father. We are His children. We are all brothers and sisters.”

-Elder Uchtdorf

I’m happy to say that the sores in my mouth have now healed, and I am recommitted to speaking kind words that will strengthen the people around me.

D&C 108:7

 7 Therefore, strengthen your brethren in all your conversation, in all your prayers, in all your exhortations, and in all your doings.

 8 And behold, and lo, I am with you to bless you and deliver you forever. Amen.

I testify that as we speak positively with love and kindness to the people around us, the Lord will bless us with understanding and love for them, and we will feel happier.  Try to use kind words that “strengthen” the people around you this week.

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You are loved!

Sincerely,

Lydia

"Friendship that will be Delightful and Enduring"

Dear Sisters,

Last night, my five year old came up to me with a notebook full of drawings done by his older brother.  He turned to me, pointing to a picture, and said, “Can you believe that kid?!  Isn’t he just so cute?”  I couldn’t smile big enough. J  Obviously he had heard me say something similar to my husband.  It cracked me up that he was so serious and acting like an adult.  It reminded me how very quickly this time when they are little flies by.  I just want to love every minute, and sometimes I forget to do that.

I’m working on enjoying the small moments with my children, but I especially need to work on remembering the sweet guy that supports me behind the scenes, in everything I do.  One of the best things I can do for my kids is to show them that I love and think the world of their Dad.

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My message today can apply to any sister or circumstance, but is particularly for young mothers.  I love this quote by Sis. Marjorie Pay Hinckley,

“I know it is hard for you young mothers to believe that almost before you can turn around the children will be gone and you will be alone with your husband.  You had better be sure you are developing the kind of love and friendship that will be delightful and enduring.  Let the children learn from your attitude that he is important.  Encourage him.  Be kind.  It is a rough world, and he, like everyone else, is fighting to survive.  Be cheerful.  Don’t be a whiner.”

Isn’t that a beautiful perspective?  I especially love that ending there—“Be cheerful.  Don’t be a whiner.”  Sometimes we complain—you know what I’m talking about: “It’s not fair, I was up all night with the baby and you slept through the whole thing,” or “I am sick and tired of cleaning up everyone else’s messes!”   Just think back on your interactions.  Are you cheerful and encouraging?  Or is there a little too much whining going on?  That is something I know I’m going to work on.

“Marriage is still very much a living institution, worth all the time and patience invested in it.  Marriage is the stable structure that encircles and supports two clumsy individuals, learning to love and live with each other.”

-Ronna Romney and Beppie Harrison, “Giving Time a Chance”

I love this candid "in-between" snap shot of my family during our recent reunion photo-shoot, because it captures a sweet moment between my mom and dad, who are good examples to me of having an eternal perspective and nurturing that love even with all the chaos that comes with raising six kids.

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I hope this week you find some time to nurture your marriage or a family relationship.  “Develop that kind of love and friendship that will be delightful and enduring.”  I promise you rarely, if ever, regret being kind.

Have a wonderful week!

Sincerely,

Lydia

"A Charity Case"

Dear Sisters,

The summer is passing by too quickly!  Hope you are enjoying the sunshine and fun family activities.

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I recently heard a sister say she didn’t want meals or visits because she didn’t want to be known as “a charity case.”  I understood what she was trying to say and I admired her desire to be self-reliant, however as I have since pondered on what it means to have charity, I believe there are lessons for all of us, both on the giving and receiving end of charity.  I’m sure these scriptures in Moroni 7 is familiar to you:

 45 And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

 46 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—

 47 But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.

Take a moment to ponder the attributes of charity and see how you are doing.  Consider, with those beautiful verses of scripture in mind, that perhaps it isn’t such a bad thing to be “a charity case.”  Shouldn’t we all desire to either give or relieve the pure love of Christ?  If you are in need of charity or service of some kind, please don’t deny someone the opportunity to share or show Christ’s pure love by serving you.  They may need it just as much as you.  We are stronger when we are loving and serving each other.

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This was illustrated in my own life just this last week.  I had to meet for a full day curriculum planning.  I had made arrangements for my kids, but they fell through.  Feeling troubled about what to do regarding childcare, I said a simple prayer that things would work out, and then I started cleaning up the kitchen… because that was something I can always do. ;)  When I took the trash out, I heard a voice say “Hey Sis!  How are you doing?”  I looked up to see sweet Peggy Blaylock peaking out of her bedroom window.  We exchanged hellos and then she said, “I was wondering if you would let me take your kids tomorrow.  I would love to take them to the family history center jubilee.”  I hadn’t even said a word about needing help.  Tears filled my eyes as the knowledge of the Saviors love washed over me.  He was aware of me and my needs, and I was so touched that Peggy was in-tune enough to know just what I needed at that moment.  Her sweet act of charity truly allowed me to feel that pure love of Christ.

Sisters, our inspired Relief Society moto of ‘Charity never faileth’ is truly one to live by, and “it will be well with us” if we do.  We all need to give and receive the pure love of Christ.  In my book, it’s ok to be known as “a charity case.” J

Sincerely,

Lydia

"Forgive One Another"

Dear Sisters,

I was just thinking today about what a blessing forgiveness is.  Letting go of a grudge is truly empowering.  I am going to get just a bit personal here, so bare with me…

During my early teen years, I had a bit of a firey temper, not unlike “Anne of Green Gable’s.”  There was one school boy in particular that could really set me off, and I him.  Our personalities and opinions strongly clashed.  He sort of became my nemesis.  We could barely stand to be in the same room.  One day, when the teacher left the classroom for a moment, this boy was walking down the aisle and tripped over my foot.  Thinking I had intentionally tripped him, he picked himself up, turned around, and decked me.  Somewhat shocked, but highly defensive, I decked him back… and quite possibly this pattern would have continued had friends not intervened.  (I’m kind of embarrassed about this… but moving on.)

Feelings of passionate anger and even hatred began to stir inside me.  When I finally opened up to my mom about what had happened, I’m sure she felt some disappointment in me, and probably some of her own anger at this boy for punching her daughter, but I will be forever grateful for the lesson she taught me, as she set her own feelings aside.

She listened, and busied herself making cookies.  When the cookies were done, she informed me that we were taking them to this boy’s house.  I was completely mortified!  It probably took some serious coaxing, but I relented.  I can remember ringing the doorbell while awkwardly balancing the plate of cookies.  The boy answered the door, and I simply said, “I think we should bury the hatchet.” (Probably my mom’s words.)  He agreed.  We both made quick apologies and parted ways.  I wish I could have heard his explanation to his mother as to why a girl was bringing him cookies. J 

The main thing I remember about all of this, was how I felt afterwards.  I remember skipping—almost floating back to the car, because that sick, fiery feeling was gone.  I’m so grateful that my mother recognized my need to forgive and heal, and that she was willing to take the time to teach me the contrast between those two feelings.

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I didn’t know then how much I would later need this lesson of forgiveness. Just a couple short years later, I experienced some minor sexual abuse.  Again, I am grateful for my sweet mother, who listened and didn’t “sweep it under the rug” when I confided in her.  When the person approached me in humble apology, I was able to frankly forgive them, and apply that early lesson of “letting go of bad feelings”.  I know the power of the atonement healed my hurt and removed my guilt, and blessed me with the ability to forgive.  It was empowering to let go of that heavy burden, and also allow that person to progress as well.

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I testify that there isn’t a trial the Savior hasn’t suffered.  He has descended below all things.  If you have been mistreated or are carrying a grudge, I urge you to set it at the Saviors feet.  Approach the person in forgiveness and allow Christ’s atonement to heal all that is unfair in your life.  Life really is too short to hold grudges.

Sincerely,

Lydia 

Preparing Drop by Drop

Dear Sisters,

A few years back, when I lived in Moscow, Idaho, we had to travel about 2 hours to get to the Spokane, Washington Temple.  

It took a lot of planning, scheduling, and coordinating.  We would usually try to find a couple to trade with us, while we switched off watching kids and attending sessions.  We had to pack food, schedule a room in the church next door so we had a “home-base”, and prepare for naps.  Basically, it was an all day affair, but it was always such a spiritual feast when we did make the sacrifice to attend.  Aren’t we blessed to have a temple so close?!

As I was thinking back on those times, I remembered one time that was pretty unforgettable for me.  I had worked very hard to coordinate a temple trip with eight other couples.  It took a lot of planning and effort, and during the last couple minutes of the drive, I stressfully checked my bag, pulling out my temple recommend, only to find that it had expired 3 days prior.  I was crushed!  I felt like I had worked hard to get there, and now I had come all that way, and wouldn’t be able to go.  I spent the day tending children, and I was glad I could help the other couples, but I also felt a little sorry for myself.  

As I watched these couples, and my own husband enter the temple doors, I was reminded of the parable of the ten virgins found in Matthew 25.  Maybe it was a little dramatic to think of it like that, but I really felt like I was being shut out and left behind.

I think it is interesting that in this parable, it makes it clear that all of the virgins remembered to bring their lamps, even the five foolish virgins; however, they “took no oil with them.”  And when they were told that the bridegroom was coming, even those foolish virgins trimmed their lamps to prepare.  It was just in that last crucial moment that they realized they hadn’t prepared enough and had no oil for their lamps.

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I’m sure you are familiar with the rest of the parable.  While they were rushing to buy oil, the bridegroom came.  Those that were ready, went with him and “the door was shut.”  And when the foolish virgins tried to enter, he said, “I know you not.”

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My experience at the temple, reminded me that I needed to prepare myself spiritually as well as temporally for attending the temple, and especially for the Savior’s coming.  I don’t ever want to be cut off, shut out, or left behind.  I committed that I would never let my recommend expire again, and I am blessed every day that I try to serve, keep my covenants, and study the gospel to add oil to my lamp. 

“Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh."

Just as we are reminded in that scripture, we don’t know when the Savior will come again, but it may not be far off.  The simple, kind, good things we do add oil to our lamps and prepare us for the second coming, and for attending the temple, His Holy House. 

“Attendance at sacrament meetings adds oil to our lamps, drop by drop over the years. Fasting, family prayer, home teaching, control of bodily appetites, preaching the gospel, studying the scriptures—each act of dedication and obedience is a drop added to our store. Deeds of kindness, payment of offerings and tithes, chaste thoughts and actions, marriage in the covenant for eternity—these, too, contribute importantly to the oil with which we can at midnight refuel our exhausted lamps.”

President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985), Faith Precedes the Miracle(1972), 256.

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Sisters, add some oil to your lamps this week!  I love you!

Sincerely,

Lydia

Women of Faith

Hello Amazing Sisters of the Lorin Farr 4^th Ward!

Oh how I love you!  I hope you know it!  I feel so lucky to work with you good women.  I am inspired by your faith and strength through opposition.  I love that you maintain a firm focus on our Savior!  You really are “women of faith.”

“We are women of faith, virtue, vision, and charity who rejoice in motherhood and in womanhood and in the family. We are not panicked about perfection, but we are working to become more pure. And we know that in the strength of the Lord we can do all righteous things because we have immersed ourselves in His gospel.”

-Sheri L. Dew

I promise I will not flood your email inbox, but I do plan on sending a weekly email with any up-dates and announcements to keep you informed about up-coming events.  I also hope you will contact me with any Relief Society related questions or concerns.  Thank you for all the good you do!  You are a great strength to our wonderful organization, and you are loved!

-Lydia