"Forgive One Another"

Dear Sisters,

I was just thinking today about what a blessing forgiveness is.  Letting go of a grudge is truly empowering.  I am going to get just a bit personal here, so bare with me…

During my early teen years, I had a bit of a firey temper, not unlike “Anne of Green Gable’s.”  There was one school boy in particular that could really set me off, and I him.  Our personalities and opinions strongly clashed.  He sort of became my nemesis.  We could barely stand to be in the same room.  One day, when the teacher left the classroom for a moment, this boy was walking down the aisle and tripped over my foot.  Thinking I had intentionally tripped him, he picked himself up, turned around, and decked me.  Somewhat shocked, but highly defensive, I decked him back… and quite possibly this pattern would have continued had friends not intervened.  (I’m kind of embarrassed about this… but moving on.)

Feelings of passionate anger and even hatred began to stir inside me.  When I finally opened up to my mom about what had happened, I’m sure she felt some disappointment in me, and probably some of her own anger at this boy for punching her daughter, but I will be forever grateful for the lesson she taught me, as she set her own feelings aside.

She listened, and busied herself making cookies.  When the cookies were done, she informed me that we were taking them to this boy’s house.  I was completely mortified!  It probably took some serious coaxing, but I relented.  I can remember ringing the doorbell while awkwardly balancing the plate of cookies.  The boy answered the door, and I simply said, “I think we should bury the hatchet.” (Probably my mom’s words.)  He agreed.  We both made quick apologies and parted ways.  I wish I could have heard his explanation to his mother as to why a girl was bringing him cookies. J 

The main thing I remember about all of this, was how I felt afterwards.  I remember skipping—almost floating back to the car, because that sick, fiery feeling was gone.  I’m so grateful that my mother recognized my need to forgive and heal, and that she was willing to take the time to teach me the contrast between those two feelings.

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I didn’t know then how much I would later need this lesson of forgiveness. Just a couple short years later, I experienced some minor sexual abuse.  Again, I am grateful for my sweet mother, who listened and didn’t “sweep it under the rug” when I confided in her.  When the person approached me in humble apology, I was able to frankly forgive them, and apply that early lesson of “letting go of bad feelings”.  I know the power of the atonement healed my hurt and removed my guilt, and blessed me with the ability to forgive.  It was empowering to let go of that heavy burden, and also allow that person to progress as well.

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I testify that there isn’t a trial the Savior hasn’t suffered.  He has descended below all things.  If you have been mistreated or are carrying a grudge, I urge you to set it at the Saviors feet.  Approach the person in forgiveness and allow Christ’s atonement to heal all that is unfair in your life.  Life really is too short to hold grudges.

Sincerely,

Lydia